Rockstars are usually selfish, dominant and very talented.
Fatigue, swollen glands and an infected throat doesn't sound particularly Rock'n'Roll.
However there's multiple reasons why Glandular Fever is the 'Rockstar Illness' . Mainly, you have to be pretty run down to get it, so whatever's happened to get your body in this disgusting position must be badass.
The illness takes over with unquestionable strength, making sure that all five senses are engulfed by its presence. Glandular Fever's performance is climatic, deafeningly loud and unforgettable.
If there had to be a rockstar to represent the chaos and stamina of Glandular Fever, there wouldn't be anyone better suited than femme fatale and all round hero, Courtney Love.
The woman who doesn't care whether you are a 'Teenage Whore' or Kurt Cobain, she's going to treat you the same. Love is infectiously good at what she does.
Ten Reasons Why Courtney Love and Glandular Fever Are Similar
1. She tells you not to go to parties because obviously it's for your own good. Don't want to be throwing alcohol and drugs on that damaged spleen. Also creepy guys trying to get laid are the last thing you need.
At the end of the day she's changing your life for the better. Look after yourself.
2. When you do go out with Glandular Fever, she's a grade A pain-in-the-ass.
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| Courtney JUST go away for one second. |
3. And she knows it.
4. Since Glandular Fever is known as the 'Kissing Disease' everyone wants to know what you've been up to. The doctor will ask you about your liver. A lot.
5. Sugar feeds the virus of Glandular Fever, but that won't stop her from being super needy.
6. And remember for the first two months she's not fussy at all, super contagious. Look at those puppy eyes.
7. Raiding the cupboard for Paracetamol and Ibuprofen usually makes no difference. She's too strong.
8. So the only thing to do is go to bed. And yeah you'll feel like this.
9. You become so sexually deprived, chat up lines can be anything these days.
10. That fiery sore throat will probably stick around for a while.
From the mosh pit of sweat, tonsillitis and faulty organs, Glandular Fever fucks up your body beyond belief.
'Fever' is a tip-of-the-iceberg symptom compared to what else there is to endure. If like me, you are seven months into this illness, you start to find humour in your suffering.
No this illness won't kill you, but it will destruct a lot of what exists around you. Like wrecking a hotel room, but in your body.
Thank you Courtney, for being the spirit that never goes away. Against all odds you are still here. <3 x
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